Tuesday, January 29

Blog Night

To start this off... tonight I had a conversation about blogging and realized I hadn't blogged in a bit. So, here I go...

Today was a marvelous day. Went to chapel with friends this morning. Had two very nice classes. In one Sam Erikson talked, and the other was sort of like a tv-trivia game. Went out to the store with Tanner and picked up food to cook tonight... Siona turned 30 at 12:15am today (Tuesday... Happy Birthday Dad!!). I cooked him a lamb and pasta dish. It was great. Tanner and Matt H. ate with us. Our dinner conversation turned into a 2 hour talk on everything from blogging, respect, relationships, to sanctification. It made me laugh hard and think hard. A sweet mix. It was encouraging to spend time with those guys. Then, at midnight, a large group came in and sang happy birthday to him. Loads of fun! Laughed hard for the next 30 mins.

This weekend was great. Went to the snow again on Saturday with my friends Amy, Betsy, Sam, Zach, Caroline and others. What a blast! Sunday, had two nice services at church. Between church services Amy, Betsy, Stephen, Jade, Jesse and I went and hiked 3 miles to a waterfall - and Amy and I jumped in it! I'm not sure what is colder - that waterfall or Lake Tahoe. It was pouring down rain the entire time, but we all had a blast.

This week has just been amazing to continue to see the Lord's goodness. I have been blessed to have several good talks with close friends, and I've definitely seen some friendships strengthened this week. Praise the Lord! The more you know people the more you can love them more deeply. It's hard to push people closer to Christ when you just observe them from a distance.

I'd love to keep writing, but it's 1am. Da Svedanya!

Thursday, January 24

CLEP and Rain

I sit here at my computer while the rain turns to hail outside my window. I can't help but smile. I sat outside under the protection of an overhang and watched the rain pour and puddle on the ground this morning. A professor of mine passed me and asked me why I’d be outside on such a cold day. I just smiled.

I love water. Especially rain. Many people here on campus have been complaining about the rainfall that is pounding our campus hourly this week. Everyone runs to get inside and escape the wet weather. I’d rather be outside in the falling water. Water reminds me of God’s goodness in several ways. Rain is something that God has used to remind me of his goodness so many times.

Today as I watched the rain fall across North Campus, I sat on a bench and thought about God’s grace. I’ve heard a verse several times recently in chapel and at church: And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth… And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace (John 1.14,16). God pours grace out to us, and water creates a picture in my mind of that grace. As I look out as far as I can see today water continually falls from the sky. How much more does God pour out his grace upon us? I have been overwhelmed by God’s grace this week – and watching the continual rain come out of seemingly inexhaustible clouds reminds me of the limitless grace God gives to us because of His Son’s sacrifice for us.

Can I ever understand God’s grace? Last semester I heard a sermon on Titus 2.11-14 that was amazing. It says “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

Back to water… In Matthew 5, Jesus said that God gives rain to the just and the unjust. The Lord gives salvation to His chosen, but he even gives grace to the reprobate. The Lord gives us rain (water) to survive. I think also of my experiences with springs; in Zion, Utah; Almaty, Kazakhstan, and Burney Falls, California. I don’t know how many of you have been next to a spring, but it’s an awesome experience seeing water pour forth from rocks or the ground. Again, springs remind me of the Lord’s supply of grace to us.

Finally, today I took the English Literature CLEP test. By God’s grace I passed it! It was so encouraging this morning to see God’s grace in my test and in the rain. And, yesterday was encouraging as well. Had a nice time of fellowship with my ‘brother’ and had a good conversation with Siona. This is too long… so go out in the rain, and praise the Lord for His grace to us!

Tuesday, January 22

God is Good

I feel like I could write a book right now, but for the sake of those who read this I will try and keep this short. I realized that I haven’t written anything here for about a week… and in that past week so much has happened. Externally, I finished my winterim class, attended the Truth and Life Conference here at Masters, went on two hikes, went to Big Bear for snow, and started school. “Internally” the Lord has taught me so much these past few days, it’s been an incredible blessing.

A quick catch up on what has been going on…
Tuesday: had a difficult day, but it was probably one of the most amazing days I’ve had in sometime. The Lord taught me more than I can write here. I was overwhelmed by the Lord’s goodness and grace to me. The day began incredibly hard, but it ended with me praising God for all his blessings and love to me. I had to learn some things a hard way, but I saw the Lord’s grace in so many ways.

Wednesday: Met with Joe for our ‘one-year anniversary.’ It has been an incredible blessing to have him as a brother in my life. I could write for some time how much the Lord has worked on my life through our friendship. We had lunch and I was greatly encouraged and challenged. Later in the day I was greatly encouraged by one of my friends. We had had a hard time the day before, but I now see our friendship as being far stronger than it ever has been before. I am so amazed at the Lord’s grace to me in my friendships, especially with him.

Thursday: the conference started. And, a large group of us from Hotchkiss and some other peeps went hiking out in Santa Clarita. Lots of fun. Got poison oak though. A real adventure! Played games late into the night. Went to Denny’s with Tanner, Stephen, and Josh.

Friday: the conference continued. Went hiking with my good friend John (who had been in IBEX last semester), Betsy, Jody, and Marie at Vasquez Rocks. We hiking and climbed rocks for most of the afternoon. Loads of fun!

Saturday: had brunch with Stephen, and a nice conversation. Went to Big Bear with Amy, Abi, Betsy and Hannah. It took us four hours to get there, and then Abi hurt her ankle in the first five minutes we were there. But, we had a blast! Ate at this restaurant called the “Teddy Bear CafĂ©.” Had Starbucks in Azusa. What a fun road trip!!

Sunday: church was amazing on Sunday morning and Sunday night. Went to Starbucks with John. So good to catch up. Later, went to dinner with Amy, Ally, Stephen, Brandon, Brittany, and Ben. Then, played games with Tanner, Abi, and Valinda later that night. Had a blast playing games.

Monday: had chapel (amazing! Joe talked). Had a really nice and encouraging brunch with Siona. Then, had a nice lunch with the wing and some friends. Studied for my CLEP test coming up. Went out to Starbucks with Tanner and Stephen last night.

To wrap it up…. this week has been tough at times, but through it all the Lord has been continually revealing more of Himself to me. It has been such an amazing time of learning to love the Lord ever more! I’ve had to learn a lot about friendships and how to love others, but the Lord is faithful. I would love to write all about what the Lord has been teaching me, but I have to go to class now. So, I will finish by saying the Lord is ever good and loving and gracious, and I am continually amazed by my Lord. Slava Bogu.





Sunday, January 13

Endurance

At night church tonight we had a visiting pastor who spoke on endurance. The sermon didn't say too much, but the Lord used the sermon to remind me of some passages and thoughts on the subject. ... kind of.

The pastor emphasized the idea that we are to endure for the sake of the elect (1 Cor 9). He said that we endure so that we might share the hope that we have in Christ and spread the good news. When I was first saved I remember asking Kent Dresdow why I couldn't just go to heaven - life is too hard, and to be with Christ would be so sweet. Kent told me that God doesn't take us immediately into heaven when we're saved because He still has plans for us here on earth. God uses humans to spread His Word so that the elect might have a knowledge of the Lord. How would people hear the good news if there was no one to share it? How would people see examples of Christ? Obviously the Lord could, in His sovereingty and wisdom, choose to save people soley from putting the Word before them, or just saving them by other means, but that's not the Lord's plan. God uses people to shine His light.

This made me think less about endurance (umm...) but more about witnessing and why the Lord has me here, and about the hope that He's given me. So, I remember talking to Kent and thinking about how key people were in the Lord bringing me to Himself. Several believers on my first missions trip to Kazakhstan (Greg, Adam, Kaitlin, Tiffany, Justin, Tyler, Tanya) and people in Kazakhstan (Maxim, Slava, Andre...) showed me so much love in a different context while at the same time the Lord was revealing Himself to me in His Word. While the Word was giving me the Lord's truth, my conversations and interactions with believers were key in moving me towards to the Lord. Their radical love for the Lord spilled out to people was so incredible to me.

I think about trials and how we always say to endure because the Lord is sovereign, He has a plan. Endure because it will be for your good. Endure because when made weak you will see the Lord's strength. I don't deny that these are good reasons to endure... but I think enduring for the sake of sharing the Lord to the elect is forgotten sometimes. At least in my own life it is.

1 Corinthians 9.22-23 'To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.'

I do it all for the sake of the gospel! Is that really what I strive for? Do you remember the first time you received the good news? Can you remember the joy that was sent on fire in your heart? Can you remember giving up your life to gain it? Do you remember the hope that was in the grace of our Lord?

What is it that you love? What is that you desire?

Whatever you live for is obvious I think. You talk about it all the time. Am I so satisfied in the gospel that I want to share it with all men? Do I love the Lord so much that its the first and only thing I want to give to others? I want to love the Lord so much that I want to share Him with all I know. I want to know the Lord more that I am so satisfied in who He is that I can't wait to tell all about Him. I want to worship the Lord so much that I can't ever stop praising Him before the world.

What we love we want our loved ones to share with us. If I love a certain culture, I want to share that culture with those I love. If I love a certain movie, I want my family to know that movie. If I love a certain person, I want my other friends to love that person. May the Lord give me the grace to love Him so much that I want to share Him with the world. What greater thing to share than our Lord?

Thursday, January 10

A Lesson Before School Starts

Who said learning needs to wait until school actually starts?

This week has been rough, but I needed to learn some things before the school semester began. I went to bed on Monday night a happy man, all was right with the world, and then woke up Tuesday morning with one of the worst attitudes I've had in some time. The Lord had some lessons in store for me, but I couldn't tell what they were when I woke up. I have to admit I was angry because I thought everything was going well and I couldn't understand why so many things had become so exaggerated in my mind.

I began to stress out about school... about the CLEP test I have to pass, about the DS science class I have to finish, about the winterim economics class, about my 18 units... about where I'd be applying for graduate school, about what geographic region I'd be applying to, about where I'd be living this summer, about where I'd be working... about relationships that have faded over the past several months with friends from last Spring, about relationships this semester that I'm not sure about where they are going, about relationship with girls and where those should be... about my family that I was barely home with... and the list of things to worry about jusy compounded and compounded upon itself inside my brain.

I used to stress o so much, and I knew I didn't want this. But my mind was a path to destruction, and all I could do was cry out to the Lord. I prayed and read the Word. Prayed and read the Word some more. And then prayed for some time. I thought I knew how to fix stress... meditate on Philippians where it says "The Lord is hand: Do not be anxious, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus our Lord." I've been tempted by anxiety so many times, and that verse was normally so sweet. But I couldn't shake the overwhelming fear that was building up.

I began to get upset as I knew that I was sinning against the Lord by not trusting Him. I cried out to the Lord asking him to change my hard heart. I kept thinking I just needed to not worry, the Lord was trying to teach me to trust Him. But, the Lord had a different lesson in mind. In reading Scripture I eventually was convicted and encouraged reading 2 Peter. 2 Peter 3.13 says "But according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells." I could not escape my flesh, but I have the hope of Christ today to help me through my trials AND I have a hope in the knowledge that the Lord will one day return to take me to heaven with Him. There righteousness will dwell! What hope! My Savior will come, and I will go with Him BECAUSE of His death for me. What a blessed day it will be when I will praise my Lord without sin!! Oh, Lord, I can't wait! Where is my focus here? Is it on relationships, on school, or on the Lord? Where is my hope? On earth or in heaven? I realized that I had become far too 'earth-looking' in my life. The Lord so encouraged me with reminders of His love for me and how I will be with Him one day! O the grace that one day I will not seek to love and serve the Lord with temptations to sin begging at me.

I read Romans 8 thinking still that the Lord would encourage me in His sovereignty. But that would not be what would encourage me. As I read the 'sovereignty' verse 8.28, I instead was convicted on something else. I kept reading Romans 8 and instead saw again that nothing can separate me from my Lord's love. Why does school and friends and family and my future cause me so much stress? I have all I ever need in Christ. I have His love! He died for me, and he loves me more than I can ever understand.

It came down to this: Do I desire the Lord's love or do I desire xxx? I could put any of the things I was stressing about in the blank. What do I most desire? A good friend, a good graduate school, an easy school semester, a girlfriend, a better relationship with my family? Who is it that I desire? I desire to know, and love, and worship my Lord Jesus!

This is long... but this was an important thing the Lord humbled me on this week. Conclusion... I love the Lord ever more for His grace to me and his sacrifical, amazing, and unconditional love towards me! I will not give up on my life here, I won't give up my friendships and so on, but I will seek to love my Lord even more, ever more. To God be all glory and praise.

Monday, January 7

A Blessed Week

These past seven days I have been blessed to spend them with my best friend Tanner. I flew up to his house in Washington on Monday morning, and we drove down yesterday (and today). I have longed to visit Washington for sometime, and Tanner invited me up during finals. The week will go down as one of my fondest memories. I am so thankful that God gave me the opportunity to go and visit my friend. I have so many great memories, I will try and share some:

December 31 - Went to Starbucks, Borders, walked the beach at Mukilteo, played an intense 4+ hour game-a-thon including shuffle board, Sorry, and foozeball, blew off poppers at midnight, and stayed up late watching a movie.

January 1 - Had one of the best conversations I've ever had (the Lord has really given me great conversations at Starbucks...) on a variety of topics. I couldn't help but praise the Lord for his amazing grace in our lives. I am so blessed to call Tanner my good friend. Played Risk, and then Tanner's mom's family came and I played games with the counsins for at least 5 hours. Watched 'Rush Hour' and 'Frequency.'

January 2 - Tanner and I missed the ferry from Edmonds to Kingston by several seconds. Visited Stephen in Kingston and went kayaking in his 'backyard.' Incredibly beautiful area. Went to Outback Steakhouse, watched the 'Fugitive' and played the old Mario Brothers for many hours. Tanner and I made it to the 4th world before we were too tired to continue.

January 3 - Went to McDonalds, went and saw 'I am Legend' at a movie theatre. Went into Seattle and went up the Space Needle. Took some awesome pictures, and then had Starbucks in Seattle. Watched 'Dirty Dozen.'

January 4 - Had pizza at Alfy's, had a nice conversation on Placerita, went to Starbucks again.

January 5 - Left Tanner's house at 5:15am and arrived at mine 18 hours later. Tanner and I braved rain, snow, darkness, sleepiness and other crazy things. I got to be outside in falling snow for the first time. Had several nice conversations along the way. Got lost for an hour near my house.

January 6 - Left my home, ate at Tomitina in Walnut Creek, followed each other down to Masters, where we arrived 5 hours later. Unpacked at ate at Panda Express. Had an amazing conversation with Tanner and Siona until 2am in the morning.

To rap it all up... I feel so blessed on this trip to have gotten to know my friend even better, to rejoice in God's grace, to reflect on the Lord's workings in our lives and in His Word, to strengthen our friendship, AND to have a complete blast. I have so many sweet memories (crossing sign, music...) from this trip.

At the Space Needle!

New Years at midnight-ish.

On the ferry.

In the snow.


At Stephen's House.