The End is Near

So today I have been a little meloncholy about school coming to a close soon. I have had quite a rough week due to schoolwork, but I am still quite sad to leave here. Hotchkiss is my home, and I will miss it dearly during the break. As much as I long to be home with my family and grandparents and friends, I am going to miss this place so very much. A semester is always unique... my class schedule has permitted me to have lunch with certain people every day, it has given me the opporunity to be in class with some of my good friends. I know I will still have the same friends, but I know also that the new semester will bring changes as well. Not necessarily bad ones, but it will be different.

This week was my 'heck week' if I can use an illustration from the theatre world. I had a total of about 40 pages of writing due the last three days. Sunday I stayed up until 5:30am to finish my papers for Monday, Monday I stayed up until 7am to finish my homework for Tuesday, and Tuesday I stayed up until 3:30 to finish my homework for Wednesday. It was a long vicious cycle that I brought upon myself for procrastinating.

But I learned a lot. Not merely that I should have done some more homework earlier in the semester, but something more important. This week has been incredibly humbling to me. One of my papers, the one I stayed up until 7am -slept for 2 hours - and wrote until 12:35 that morning, showed me a lot. I have never written so close to a deadline that I couldn't proof read it. There were so many times during the night that my body would start to shut down, and I would have nothing to do but cry out to the Lord for help and grace. I saw again, like I have during ministry many times, that only the Lord gives me the strength to get through the day. I really don't ever have the strength or the ability to do what I do - only by God's grace am I capable of doing anything. But, I got to see that in such a tangible way this week. While writing my large paper, I had to stop and read Isaiah 40 several times and stop to pray. That chapter is amazing... it begins by showing the power and majesty of our Lord. It finishes by reminding us to wait upon the Lord for His strength. My friend Amanda told me the next day that she had been studying this, and that wait means to 'hope' or 'longing for' or 'expect.'

That's amazing. We wait because we know of God's power. We don't throw our faith into an idea, but a personal God who can measure the waters in the palm of his hand! This week has broken me to step back and remember the power and majesty of God.